cheryl santa maria

I used to date a guy who was head over heels in love with his BlackBerry.

He’d bring the stupid thing everywhere – to formal occasions,  to family dinners … I even saw him use it  in church.  When he wasn’t using his BlackBerry he’d clutch it tightly in his hand, terrified to put it down for even a second.

I wish I was exaggerating but that’s the honest-to-goodness truth.  One night over dinner, I asked him to his BlackBerry away for an hour so we could enjoy our meal in peace.

He looked at me, mortified.

“Are you crazy?” he said. “What if I get an important email while we’re eating? what if somebody calls me? what then, Cheryl? what then?”

I sat there staring at him for a minute, dumbfounded.  How could a stupid gadget wedge itself in between a perfectly happy couple – and in such a short amount of time?

It was then that I realized that smartphone users are completely and utterly insane. For many, the smartphone is more than a mere electronic device – it’s also a security blanket.  For others, it doubles as a pathetic status symbol.

Bored in a meeting? Pull out the smartphone.
Forced to make awkward conversation in an elevator? Pull out the smartphone.
Want to ignore the homeless person begging for change on the street? Pull out the smartphone.

The phones are ingenious, really – not only for their user-friendly interfaces and sleek designs – but also for they way they have created a socially-acceptable manner for people to mentally “check out” of unpleasant or awkward situations.

I say that smartphone overuse is “socially acceptable” because, as of yet, there is no universal “BlackBerry etiquette” in corporate America.  Earlier this year, the NY Times ran an article suggesting that roughly twenty percent of employees have been chastised for smartphone overuse.  Here in Ontario, the problem has become so bad that we’ve had to enact a law that prevents people from using electronic devices whilst driving.

I know that I’m susceptible to the powers of the smartphone, which is precisely why I don’t have one.  I suppose it’s only a matter of time before I jump on the bandwagon, though.  But until that time, I’ll continue to enjoy making self-righteous remarks about the ill-affected.

Expect a post revoking all of the statements I’ve made here in 12-24 months time.

What can I say? I may hold out longer than most, but in the end my consumer impulses always get the best of me.