cheryl santa maria

It’s getting harder and harder to differentiate “real” news stories from Onion news stories.

I know every news outlet presents the odd bit of fluff but THIS …

Well. 

 This is a whole new level of low, even for CNN standards:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbw1UluwVhg]

Maybe we should stop panicking about the swine flu and divert our attention to the fact that CNN is analyzing President’s Obama’s “swagga”.

Sigh.

Stupidity seems to have reached epidemic proportions. 

If you ask me, that’s a MUCH bigger problem than a little H1N1.

[source: The Huffington Post]

*oink.

After spending my afternoon reading countless articles about the swine flu, I have one thing to say…

(more…)

There’s construction going on at my apartment. 

My little darling has been spooked by the noises, so he’s been staying at his grandma and grandpa’s.

I miss my cat SO MUCH. I hate coming home to an empty apartment and I’ve been spending as much time (as I can handle) at mom and dad’s.

Friday’s SOTD is dedicated to my AJ.

Lovecats is his favourite song.

Click here.

For all of you who have asked (i.e. my mom), my foot situation hasn’t gotten any better. Actually, it’s gotten worse.

What foot situation, you ask?

Well, for starters, I’m afraid my toe is going to fall off.

I returned from Mexico on December 15 and one of my little piggies has been itching ever since. At first I thought it was a mosquito bite, but mosquito bites don’t last for four months. Now, to make matters worse, I seem to have pulled something in my foot. I went jogging five times last week and I haven’t been the same since. I’ve been doing this weird limp/bunny hop thing all week.

I’m resisting the urge to see a doctor because I spent a great deal of my youth in doctor’s offices, on account of me being a hypochondriac. You should see my medical records. They’re a massive stack of papers, even though I’ve never had the flu and I’ve only spent a couple of nights in the hospital.

When I was growing up my parents used to have a collection of medical encyclopedias and I’d to spend hours in the basement reading them. Then funny things started to happen. All of the sudden, I started getting headaches which, according to the encyclopedias, meant I was developing a brain tumor. Then I began to feel tired, which led me to believe I had mono. Then I thought I had asthma and breast cancer.

After three pointless trips to the doctor my mother barred me from reading the books and for a couple of years, I suffered from nothing. Then I discovered Google.

According to a recent search a toe, when scratched too much, can develop an infection and if the infection isn’t treated, things can get ugly.

I barely slept a wink last night because I’m convinced that I’ve contracted an incurable Mexican toe disease.

Thankfully, my computer was cooperating so I distracted myself with Courtney Love’s blog.

Have you read this thing? If not, you must. I used to love this woman back in the nineties when she – you know – did stuff. But now, I’m indebted to her. Courtney’s cracked-out ramblings have healed me, at least temporarily. They made me forget about my foot situation for a solid hour which is pretty darn impressive.

Do they give Pulitzers for blogs? Because they should.

I’ve attached some stellar links below. But before you click, a bit of a disclaimer: prolonged visits to Courtney Love’s blog may cause your head to explode.

We of feeble mind just can’t process this much genius at one time.

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=165705423&blogID=462302297

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=165705423&blogID=447057143

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=165705423&blogID=436099918

*********
[this is a repost - sort of. I originally wrote about Courtney Love and blogging back in Jan 09 for Quiet Color. But this post is slightly different. It's been edited/updated to reflect my current foot situation!]

Oh… how the past comes back to haunt you!

I had a blog back in uni and I totally forgot about it until now.  Today I Googled my SN (Cherrycher) and ta-daaa….

http://cherrycher.blogdrive.com/

Glad to see that it’s been six years and I’m still complaining about the same things.  And writing about the same topics.

I need some new material.

Anyway, I can’t remember the password I used for this blog or the email address I used to sign it up but once I figure that out, I’ll post something on blogdrive for old times sake.

James has an amazing ability to block things out and Sarah can be incredibly cruel, but they aren’t bad kids. Their father is a drunk and their mother …

Well.

Their mother is a different story altogether.

Every Sunday you will find this family dressed to the nines, front row and centre at church. I was raised as a Catholic so I am wary of this sort: the ones that sit up front often have the biggest sins to repent.

The father is always drunk. Most nights he won’t make it to bed and he passes out in the hallway or on the stairs. Every morning at 6 a.m., his wife wakes up and fills a bucket of freezing cold water, which she uses to douse her husband. She then hands him his lunch, prepared the night before, and sends him off to work. Once he is gone she wakes the children up for school.

… Let all things be done decently and in order [I Corinthians 14:4]

The mother prays the rosary every night downstairs, with the music up, so she doesn’t have to hear her husband slip into Sarah’s room.  She fills the house with religious doodads and Bibles, but she never said a word when her husband dislocated James’ shoulder.

Sometimes it’s better to remain silent about family affairs. Underneath it all, her husband is a good man and he doesn’t know his own strength.

… if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand [Mark 3:25]

And besides, the women at church are such gossips. And her sisters and her mother – what would they say if they knew the truth?

Sometimes she wants to leave and take the children with her but her parents would disown her.

… A wife must not leave her husband … and the husband must not divorce his wife [1 Corinthians 7:10-11]

It’s better to keep silent and raise her children to be strong in faith,

… In the Lord, put your trust [Psalms 11:1]

and bring them to church every Sunday.

Because this is the Word of Our Lord.

Ever since I posted about Jennifer Aniston, visits to my blog have tripled.  Yeah, I know most of you are just stopping by to look at the pictures but still …

This woman is more popular than I thought.

I’m always looking for ways to increase traffic to my site so …

Here’s another picture of Jen.

For absolutely no reason at all.

Cheers … and thanks for visiting!

hee.

Kings of Leon is playing in Toronto tonight. I’m not there.

Sobs.

Thought I’d spend the night listening to them, anyway. Knocked Up is my favourite KOL song.

Ummmm … Caleb Followill is hot.

He’s entering Freebie Five territory.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Mzklb9nkXM]

And here’s an amazing cover of King’s of Leon’s Use Somebody by Bat For Lashes:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5mPRWUVuMM]

A few weeks back, I wrote about less-than-stellar safety standards in Canadian airports, and I thought: If people can sneak past security in a Canadian airport, what the hell is going on in other airports around the globe?

Well, now I know:

“KINGSTON, Jamaica – A gunman forced his way though airport security and hijacked a Canadian jet near Montego Bay, holding six crew members hostage for eight hours before police and soldiers stormed the aircraft today and captured the man.

Nobody was killed or injured in the ordeal, which ended with a raid near daylight after talks broke down with a 20-year-old Jamaican hijacker described as “mentally challenged.”

[source]

This guy was able to sneak a gun on board a plane.  And hijack it.

But I’m not allowed to bring sunscreen in my carry on.

Sigh.

You can sing.

Of course you can.

Ma and Pa say you’ve got a good voice. So do all your aunts and uncles. Hell – even Ms. Duncan down the road says you’ve got a good voice. Sure – she may be eighty five years old, slightly senile, and half deaf, but she knows good music – she used to sing back up for Anita O’Day after all.

Or was it Shirley Horn?

Maybe it was Shirley Horn.

Anyway. That’s not the point. The point is: you can sing, and one of these days you’re going to make it to Hollywood.

Before you know it an opportunity comes along. You open the newspaper and learn that American Idol will be auditioning in your state. You drive for five hours and wait in line for another fifteen. When it’s your turn you close your eyes, throw your head back and sing like you’ve never sung before.

The judges stare at you blankly.

“No,” says Randy.
“Sorry,” says Paula.
“Horrible.” Says Simon. “You’re a terrible performer.”

Ouch.

Looks like you won’t be going to Hollywood just yet, but you’ll get there one day. You can sing – it doesn’t matter what those judges think. Ma says you’ve got a good voice, Pa says you’ve got a good voice ….

Yup.

You can sing.

Of course you can.

**********

What amazes me most about American Idol is the audition process. 

Last year,  In Season 7, an average of 10,000 hopefuls attended each audition. Out of that 10,000, an average of 9,980 people were rejected – meaning the chance of making it to Round 2 hovered around 0.002%.

I can’t sing – but I’m able to string sentences together and I think that means I can write.  I’d love to string sentences together professionally but the numbers are against me.  There are 38.5 million active blogs on the internet and thousands – if not millions – of online writing communities and forums. Sure, most of the writing  on the interwebs is very, very bad, but some of it is pretty damned good.  So good, in fact, that a select few may eventually write their way into a publishing deal or a permanent gig.  

The odds of that happening are slim, though.  Me? I’m just a wannabe writer lost in a swamp of other wannabes. I wouldn’t make it into the top 0.002% of writers here on the webs, that’s for sure.  It’s pretty difficult to make yourself stand out and even if you can, success is never guaranted.

This is clearly evidenced by American Idol, which should serve as a barometer for everything.

Yep.

You can always count on me to burst your bubble.