cheryl santa maria

 I had an exhausting weekend, how about you?

I moved on Friday and I’m not unpacked yet, which means that everything I own is in boxes, piled way up to the ceiling. I never realized how much junk I own and, to make matters worse, I’m running out of space. At last count I had roughly 4,567 pairs of shoes and I don’t know where to put them all.

For someone who likes to posture on about the importance of life and how we must seize the day, I sure do spend a lot of time in stores.

Oh, well.

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last news round up so here’s another one, and what perfect timing! It’s only Tuesday and already many things have happened in my neck of the woods. Unfortunately I have the attention span of a two year old though, so I’ll probably get distracted before I can get through everything.

At any rate, here’s the news.

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I’ll start with an old one. This one didn’t get a lot of coverage but I think it’s worth repeating.

Earlier this month, former model Liskula Cohen won a lawsuit allowing her to learn the identity of the  individual who created a (now defunct) blog that defamed her. The blog, wittily-named “Skanks in NYC”, featured pictures of Cohen and referred to her as a “skank” and a “hag”.

Upon learning the identity of the individual, Cohen plans to file a defamation lawsuit.

I think this is awesome.

Don’t get me wrong - I’m not against free speech. I use it all the time. Why, just this morning I rolled down my window and called the guy that cut me off an asshat.  It was great.  Cathartic, even. Freedom of expression is a beautiful thing.

What I am against, however, is uncensored speech that comes from anonymous source. John Moore  pointed this out a couple of weeks back, arguing that you can’t scream for free speech and then exercise that right anonymously. I agree.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but opinions should be voiced transparently.

Anonymous “expressions of freedom” lead to pointless trolling. The Cohen case sets an interesting precedent and I wonder if it will do anything to curb the rampant bullying that exists on the internet.

Time will tell I guess.

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There are probably a million different punch lines I could make about this one seeing as it involves a prominent former MPP, but I’m not gonna because it’s way too soon.

Last night around 9.45 p.m. a cyclist collided with a Westbound convertible in Toronto’s Yorkville district. What happened next is truly bizarre.

According to witnesses the cyclist, who was presumably raging mad, grabbed onto the driver’s side of the car and hung on for about 100 meters. In an attempt to shake the cyclist loose, the driver of the convertible swerved into the Eastbound lane and hopped the curb, but not before smashing into a few trees and poles.

The cyclist was taken to the hospital with massive head injuries and died about an hour later.

The driver of the convertible appears to have been Ontario’s former attorney general Michael Bryant. Once a prominent MPP in Ontario, Bryant is now the CEO of Invest Toronto  and a possible candidate to run for premier in the next provincial election.

Bryant is currently being questioned by police and that’s all we know at this point but a man has died and that is sad, sad, sad – so no snarky comments here.

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Here’s something pointless to distract your attention.

Dubai recently allowed Paris Hilton to film episodes of her newest disaster “My New BFF”.  She was granted access to  “state-of-the-art studios”  by the government, who is apparently eager to “to import a touch of Hollywood glamour to the Middle East.”

And this, my friends, is further evidence that the human race is done. Finished. Kaputt.

I guess Hilton’s work in cinematic masterpieces like House of Wax, The Hottie and the Nottie  and One Night in Paris are why she classifies as “Hollywood Glamour”, but I’m curious as to why uber-conservative Dubai would allow a crackheaded, dim-witted, drunk-driving space cadet into their country.

Never mind the fact that Paris Hilton is one of the most vile, selfish and UNconservative people around. What offends me most is the fact that people continue to give her attention (myself included) and consume her pointless drivel.

Anyone who ever told you that buying your way to the top doesn’t work is wrong. Paris Hilton is living, breathing proof that it most certainly does.

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There are big changes taking place at the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Commission (OLG). The government-regulated operation, which is supposed to regulate gambling practices in Ontario, underwent a huge overall yesterday when its entire senior staff was sacked amidst allegations of corruption.  It turns out the buggers at the OLG have been charging just about everything to Ontario taxpayers, including:

* $1,000 for the cancellation of a deposit on a Florida condo by Michael Sharland, the OLG’s former vice-president of security and surveillance, who took a paid leave of absence in 2007;

* $3,713 for a dinner for 38 people, including 15 bottles of wine, billed by David Myers, vice-president of lottery operations;

* Nearly $500 for a nanny charged by another OLG executive so she could attend meetings during a four-month period in 2006; and

* Golf, gym and Weight Watchers memberships, as well as small items such as a $7.70 pen refill and a $1.12 cloth grocery bag.

[source]

Expenses that did not have receipts, as well as hand-written recipes with vague descriptions, were also charged and processed. These guys are being fired with cause, meaning they won’t be getting a handsome settlement. Good.

While executives have cushy jobs and are able to expense ridiculous things the OLG crossed the line with their shopping bags and babysitters and whatnot. If I’m going to throw my money away gambling I want it to go to infrastructure and health care and not into the greedy hands of entitled executives.

Unfortunately this kind of thing happens all the time here in Canada. No wonder we rank 14th  in the world for government corruption – ahead of the freaking United States, for crying out loud.

I know I say it all the time but the future, my friends …

… is bleak.

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On a plus side though, I managed to hold my attention for a long time and I think I deserve a treat. Off to the shoe store then, to pick up pair # 4,568.

I’d like to say I’ll be back soon, but I probably won’t. Check back next week for more pointless rambling from yours truly.

Cheers.

I’m back.

I have a zillion things I should be doing but I’m going to procrastinate instead. Right now I’m listening to Underworld in anticipation of their concert at the Kool Haus this coming Tuesday. If you’re in the area you must come and see them.  Just about everybody knows the song Born Slippy/NUXX but if you aren’t familiar with their other music, you need to check it out. Underworld is worth the listen.

Because I write for Quiet Color, I’ve managed to snag press passes to the event. I don’t know what a press pass entails as I’m still new to the whole “journalist” thing but if I get the chance to speak with Karl Hyde and Rick Smith I’ll turn as red as a tomato (** no pun intended). I can be socially awkward in the most mundane situations and if I come face to face with these two iconic artists I’m certain I’ll make a complete arse out of myself.

But for all I know I could be turned away at the door.  Being told that I’m “not on the list” is the story of my life.

Ah well, we shall see.  And I doubt that will happen anyway.  Underworld’s PR Team has been phenomenal thusfar - totally on top of things and extremely professional.  I could learn a thing or two from them. Make sure to visit Quiet Color next week where I’ll be writing about my Underworld experience in detail.

In the meantime, you can click here to read my teaser.  Thanks to all 1000 of you who pointed out the spelling error at the end of Paragrah 1.  I’ve emailed the site editor - he’ll fix it soon.   Relax.

And now, because I apparently have nothing better to do, here’s a roundup of three random articles that I stumbled upon today.

First of all we lost John Hughes, director of Pretty and Pink, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Sixteen Candles, Home Alone and others. He suffered a heart attack while out on his morning walk yesterday and passed away in NYC at the age of 59. This is beyond sad, especially when you consider some of the crap the studios are trying to pass off as films nowadays.

RIP John. You will be missed.

Earlier this week two overly excited girls were photographed crying and shrieking next to socialite Kim Kardashian, the repulsive, talentless, non-celebrity whose sole claim to fame is the adult film she starred in with Ray J.

I’m mad that this even qualifies as news. And to make matters worse I’m blogging about it. FML.

Before I quickly change the subject, I wonder: When did Kim Kardashian become a role model?

And when did she become a celebrity? she has no talent. Do little girls actually admire people like Kim Kardashian?

If that’s the case then I think it’s time we packed it up and called it a day. Stick a fork in us – humanity is done.

Last but not least, Anders Fogh Rasmussen, secretary general of NATO, has announced that he wants Canadian troops to remain in Afghanistan past 2011.

To date, Canada has lost 128 brave men and women in Afghanistan.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper isn’t one to listen to the wants and needs of Canadians, especially now that he’s on summer break, but the majority of Canadians are opposed to the war and want the troops sent home immediately.

Our soldiers are heroes. Their precious lives shouldn’t be wasted fighting George Bush’s pointless war.

Sigh.

The future is bleak my friends.

BLEAK.

And on that note I’m going to go. The weather is beautiful and the work that’s calling me looks boring.

Procrastination is way more fun when you’re outside enjoying the sun, right?

Have a good weekend,

C

** Tomato is the visual arts collective that Underworld helped establish.  If you knew that then congratulations – you’re a true music geek!

In an attempt to further piss on the dreams and aspirations of starving-yet-talented writers worldwide, the good folks at Regenry Publishing have offered Carrie Prejean her very own book deal. You may remember Prejean as the queer-hating, God-fearing girl with bolted-on boobies who was recently relieved from her role as Miss California.

And here I am, trying to develop my literary skills like a shmuck.  I guess if I really want to get published all I need to do is alter my face and body so that I resemble a walking, talking blow-up doll.

And they say good literature is dead.

Seeing as this girl can barely string a coherent sentence together, I’m sure her book will be filled with lots of precious gems.

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The Great Garbage Strike of 2009 is currently in week five. Because most of the temporary dump sites in Toronto are near capacity, and because the mayor and the union can’t get their acts together, Toronto officials are considering opening almost 200 new sites throughout the city – one of them being the CNE fair grounds. For those of you who don’t know the CNE is an 18-day fair that’s taken place in Toronto for the last 130 years. It generates a huge amount of revenue for the city by creating over 500 jobs and attracting  1.3 million visitors annually.

Toronto mayor David Miller has vehemently denied that the CNE will become a future dumping ground but I’m not inclined to believe him. The very fact that the strike’s been going on this long is a testament to his ineptitude. I have no doubt that Miller is an intelligent man but I think he bit off more than he could chew when he became Toronto’s mayor. I think it’s time to boot Miller and put Hazel McCallion in charge.

Now that’s a lady who knows how to run a city.

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Chris Brown has issued an apology for mucking up his image beating the living crap out of former girlfriend Rihanna back in February.

Despite the fact that Brown has been convicted of one of the most heinous and disrespectful crimes, his high-priced lawyers managed to strike a plea bargain that has kept him out of jail.

Ever the optimist, Brown hasn’t let a silly little thing like being a convicted felon get him down. Since his monstrous attack he’s been a regular on the party circuit where he’s often seen driving about town in his $1.5 million car and surrounded by plenty of new women for him to smack around, now that he’s been ordered to keep 50 yards away from Rihanna.

Oh, and his record sales are up.

Luckily for Chris, we live in a society that respects fame and stature more than it respects human decency.  Chris will never have to pay for his crime, he’ll maintain his powerful friends and he will continue to make millions of dollars a year.

Lovely, isn’t it?

Looks like misogyny is alive and well.

[photo source]

- Federal cabinet minister Lisa Riatt (or a member of her team) “forgot” a binder containing sensitive, top secret materials at CTV’s office last night. So what? It’s not like we haven’t seen this before. Harper’s (former) aide Maxime Bernier has already been there, done that. I don’t understand why people are so shocked and appalled. We’re all painfully aware that ineptitude is a prerequisite for becoming, or working directly under, a Canadian politician.

- China has blocked Twitter, Hotmail, Windows Live, Flickr, and various other social networking sites in anticipation of the Tiananmen Square 20th anniversary. Sadly, it looks like the country’s continued human rights violations are paying off: A recent report suggests that the majority of modern Chinese youth are blissfully unaware of their atrocious history and that some of them even “support … the government’s efforts to restrict information.” I’m not one for fear mongering, but if this doesn’t terrify you, it should. China is the most populated country in the world and what happens in China… doesn’t always stay in China. Just sayin’.

- After reading the comments that accompany this article, I’ve come to the conclusion that you should never, under any circumstance, interact with a pregnant woman. Step away and avoid eye contact, you insensitive, blithering, swine.

- Christian Bale admits that he didn’t like Terminator 3 but he still signed up for Salvation, which is proving to be even crappier  than its crappy predecessor. That’s ok, though. Bale earned millions by participating in this $h*tstorm. I, on the other hand, won’t get back the time or the money I wasted on the last two films in this franchise. FML.

- Will everyone please stop talking about  the Jon & Kate Plus 8 divorce scandal  and focus on more important matters – like the fact that this woman is walking around with a reverse mullet in 2009? Shame.